New golf terms

[Wig]

Golf Terms

1) A "Paris Hilton,"-- an expensive hole

2) A "James Joyce,"-- an impossible read

3) A "Rock Hudson,"-- looked straighter than it was

4) A "Cuban,"-- needed one more revolution

5) An "Elton John,"-- a big bender that lips the rim

6) A "Monica Lewinsky"-- all lip, no hole

7) A "Lou Gehrig,"-- a dead Yank

A "German,"-- a hookenflecker

9) An "Adolf Hitler,"-- two shots in the bunker

10) A "Saddam Hussein,"-- from one bunker straight into
another

11) A "Yasser Arafat,"-- ugly and in the sand

12) A "Kate Winslett,"-- little bit fat but otherwise
perfect

13) A "John Kennedy, Jr.,"-- didn't make it over the water

14) An "Elephant's Ass,"-- it's high and it stinks

15) A "Rodney King,"-- over-clubbed

16) An "O.J. Simpson,"-- got away with it

17) A "Princess Grace,"-- should have taken a driver

18) A "Princess Di,"-- shouldn't have taken a driver

19) A "George W.,"-- steadily fading

20) A "condom,"-- safe, but didn't feel very good

21) An "Anna Kournikova,"-- looks great, but unlikely
to get a result

22) A "Brazilian,"-- shaved the hole

23) A "Rush Limbaugh,"-- too far to the right

24) A "Nancy Pelosi,"-- too far to the left

25) A "Nelson Rockefeller"-- died in the hole

[padow]

maybe a hole in one should be a "Barack Obama"... you were successful, now you get to pay for everybody elses beer! 

[Wig]

Dear Friends,

I believe this new book on GOLF gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information. 

I'm hopeful you find this a useful tool to help you enjoy your game that much more as you enjoy the great outdoors..

 

The cost is only $9.95.

   

It's a book of useful information and instruction. I know it's helped my game.


     Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt.

     Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist from the tee.

     Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a bunker.

     Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank.

     Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger.

     Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings.

     Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management.

     Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m.

     Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6-Hour Round.

     Chapter 10 - When Does A Divot become classified as Sod.

     Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the water.

     Chapter 12 - Why your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th.

     Chapter 13 - Using Curse words Creatively to Control Ball Flight.

     Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play through Your Twosome.

     Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting five off the Tee.

     Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent.

     Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three-Putt.

     Chapter 18 - When to Re grip Your Ball Retriever.

     Chapter 19- Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique.

     Chapter 20 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?

     Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer from the Cart Girl and Give a $3 Tip,

                             but will balk at $2.50 at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender.


     Order your copy Today!
 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 

 

[DanPacella]

maybe a hole in one should be a "Barack Obama"... you were successful, now you get to pay for everybody elses beer! 

That's good!

[Wig]

A "Balloon Boy"--It took off with good launch, but with nothing on it.

[IrishBomber]

Wig, How are you?!  You forgot one, a putt known as a Marilyn Monroe, it looks good then it dies.  The Monica can also be substituted for the Prom Date.  Talk to you later.

John

[Rockstar]

or the 'cuiyote ugly' shot... "It looked good leaving the club?"